I Used To Believe in a Thing Called Love…

What is the definition of love anyway?
Apparently I’ve had it wrong all these years.

What ever happened to “soul-mates”, or there being that special someone out there for everyone, or even “love at first sight”?

I understand people’s lives (with work or just in general) can be busy and demanding, so meeting someone online is much easier than meeting someone in the grocery store, but I’ve discovered in this day and age: the majority of people I’ve interacted with are just looking to “hook-up”.
(Which is a totally different topic I would like to rant about later).

Call me old fashioned, or blame it on Hollywood for making my expectations higher than they should be, but I think at this point, I’m throwing in the towel with this “love” thing.

I think my last relationship made me bitter to the whole topic, because after dating my string of jerks for years, I finally thought I found what everyone defined as, “The One”: the person who’s your soul-mate, your match, your mate/person for life.  That person you are always excited to see (no matter how long you have been together), and no matter what crap you had going on in your life at the time – just them being in it changed everything for the better, and made you “happy”.
You know you’ve found “The One” when you get that “butterfly” feeling (which I had never felt before, or even thought actually existed, until I met him).
I knew, personally for myself, it was “love” when people would ask me, “What do you see in him?” and my response would just be, “I don’t know, there’s just something about him…”
Those that know me personally know how much I am against the whole “marriage thing”, but I would randomly catch myself suddenly daydreaming about it.  Then I realized: if that was happening, which was something that had never happened to me before, and that if someone could make me reconsider something I had always been against, then he had to be “it.

(UNFORTUNATE) REALITY CHECK:  The guy end up being a Narcissist.

What I had thought was the best relationship of my life, ended up being the absolute worst…and I wish I could warn all future victims to steer clear, so they wouldn’t have to go through what I did.

Not knowing what a Narcissist even was, as many of us “normal” people do not, I had to educate myself completely about it once the relationship had ended, and excuse the cliché term, but: “I wish I had known then what I know now,” because I could have saved myself a lot of emotional damage.

One particular article I had come across was so spot-on in describing him, that I will post it separately from here, because I think it’s important for anyone that reads it that thinks they may be involved with someone like this, to GET OUT NOW, AND DON’T EVER LOOK BACK!

My biggest thing had always been: “If there is no trust, there is no relationship”… but through all my experiences I’ve learned: Sadly, you really can’t trust anyone but yourself.


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